what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize