capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
