but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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