started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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