I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
