he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize