Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
