She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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