you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
