There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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