my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
