FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
