yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Come on in and take your pants off
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