This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
