I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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