He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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