the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
