hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize