I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize