WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
