just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
