I want to walk on stilts...naked
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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