Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's shark week go big or go home
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
