I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
