Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
