Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
