i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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