He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
