Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
