he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
