Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
