I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize