I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize