We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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