this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Houston, we have a squirter
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
