If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
