You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
its not stalking. its research.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
