its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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