She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
