hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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