Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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