I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
