Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I came so hard my ears popped.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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