no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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