Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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