Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
