he wants to bone in the snuggie
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think people are normalizing furries
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
