Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
