I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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