Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
