saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
