I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
