is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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