I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
