There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
