I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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