why im i the only drunk person in the library?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
