this beer tastes like vomit already
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm too high and old for this...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
