So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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