love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize