is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your penis caused this!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
